Life Crisis Guide

Today, March 2, 2008, is a sad weeping day for Hong Kong. There was a huge public memorial service for Hong Kong’s loved celebrity icon Lydia Shum Din Ha (???) in a Hong Kong stadium who recently died of cancer at the age of 63. The whole of Hong Kong and all Chinese people in all major Chinese communities in the world watching live TV mourn the death of our loved Lydia Shum, also popularly known as “Fei Fei” or “Sister Fei”. The service drew thousands of friends, fans, family, and media people from all over the world. “Fei” in Cantonese (a Chinese dialect spoken in Hong Kong) means “Fat”, so “Fei Fei” is literally translated as “Fat fat”. “Fei Fei” or “Sister Fei” is a term of endearment Hong Kong people used to calling Lydia Shum. It’s a friendly way “Fei Fei” enjoyed to be called.

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Today, I would like to offer a guest post on marriage by Karinna Kittles-Karsten, founder of Sacred Love, Inc. Based in Los Angeles, CA, Karinna, an internationally recognized relationship expert and the Love Educator, is the author of the best-selling book Intimate Wisdom, The Sacred Art of Love, and the popular Sacred Lovemaking DVD. She has also achieved career success as an international model and actress. Karinna’s unique Eastern and Western approach to love, sex and intimacy based on almost 20 years of study of the intimacy wisdom of ancient China, western psychology, and mythology has helped thousands of singles and couples across the World.

I hope you will enjoy this post and get inspired for your marriage life.

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“You live your life as a biography and you have chapters and how you handle yourself in time of adversity and crises defines you.” - Douglas Brinkley

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes, it’s up; sometimes, it’s down. There are good and there are bad times, but both require our responses. Usually, we know how to respond if it’s good things happening to us. We would jump and laugh. Or, we simply smile secretly in our heart. In other words, we feel happy. But, oftentimes, people don’t know how and what to respond to do in times when they feel so low, depressed, frustrated, insecure about the future, worried about life after midlife or graduation, … etc.. It’s human nature to easily feel happy and easily know what to do (respond) when things make us happy. But, it’s also human nature to easily feel sad, depressed, worried, and insecure when things in life such as a major crisis (e.g. loss of a loved one leading emotional crisis, loss of a career leading to career crisis, loss of enthusiasm about life leading to existential crisis, loss of, say, youthfulness in midlife leading to midlife crisis, … etc.) make us so unhappy, but we often may not know what and how to do and respond to those crisis times in life. We would close ourselves in our room. We would not feel seeing anyone or talking to anyone. Is this good response?

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“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” - Soren Kierkegaard, Danish philosopher (1813-1855).

In a way, it is true. For something in life, we may not understand it at the time we live our life. We may not understand why it happens in the way it does at the time, but we have to live with it and live it! When looking back afterward in our life, it starts to make sense in our mind and heart and we start to understand why it happened that way and why we have got to where we are right now because of it. Life must be lived forward; otherwise, we may not understand certain things in life if we get stuck in the past or present.

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What are the two most important things you think you can’t live without in the 21st century? Maybe you have more than two. What are they? The number is not important. What’s important is whether you have ever thought about this so far in your life and whether you can give an honest answer to yourself. The way you answer yourself and the answer itself will determine how you’re gonna live your life in the 21st century. Realize that everyone’s answer is different and unique to his/her own circumstances. This difference in the answers, too, is not important. The important thing is whether you have the answer for yourself or not. This is going to affect how we’re gonna live our life from now on and explain why we’re living the way we are now (if you have already given yourself the answer).

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Are you married? Are you afraid that some day you may end up in divorce like the guy next door or one of your friends you recently comforted in a restaurant? Do you think, “I love her/him so much. I will never have a marriage crisis! It won’t happen to me. It may happen to someone else but not me.” ? I hope your confidence in marriage will last as long as you live. Really!

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When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound. Rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” - Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill is the author of the bestselling book “Think and Grow Rich!” all time, a classic motivational book inspired by Andrew Carnegie. I highly recommend this book if you care about success in your life.

Don’t let the book title mislead you if growing rich is not your life’s primary goal. But if you embrace and live the advice given in the book, you “may” grow rich.

You may find the writing style in the book a bit old fashioned, but don’t let that put you off. Think And Grow Rich is pure gold and positively essential reading for anybody embarking on a journey of self improvement. The ultimate conclusion of the book is that life’s success (or failure) depends on what one’s thoughts are and how the thoughts are put into action, and one’s wealth again depends on the thoughts and actions one chooses to have and exercise in life and how strong the desire to achieve it. In other words, life’s success, failure, self-fulfillment, or wealth is completely in our hands! How true, isn’t it?

So, if you are thinking of growing rich and/or successful in life, you will not regret reading the book. Take and develop your thinking to the next level!

It’s also time for me to reread the book.

Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” – William Jennings Bryan

Don’t give up at half time. Concentrate on winning the second half. - Paul Bryant

When did we last time see things in our life were not going in the direction we wanted, felt so disheartened, and wanted to give up? How many times did we give up at half time or not even at half time? Now looking back, do we regret that we did (or did not) give up? Indeed, giving up is just so easy. Losing (not failing) at half time is not a total failure yet. What really matters is performance of the second half. Focusing on the second half is really what one has got to do in order to win what he wants.

How amazing a change of perspective is!

For the Chinese, today is the first day of the Chinese Lunar New Year based on the Chinese Lunar Calendar. It’s similar to January 1 New Year based on the Western calendar. All Chinese communities around the world are celebrating it right now. It’s celebrated wherever there are Chinese communities. This year is the Year of Rat.

I know some may ask, “Why the Chinese celebrate their New Year in February? When and how did it originate? What do Chinese people do before, during, and after the Chinese New Year?” If you’re interested in the answer, please read on. Though I am not an expert in Chinese history, my answer should give you a brief intro of the Chinese New Year. [Read the rest of this entry…]